Cultural Weddings
Bridal special section
Glimpses: Cultural weddings honor family origins, create unique memories
By Heidi Howell
Neill
Callis proposed to Hilary Smith on a three-day backpacking trip to
Death Valley. Nine months later, they were snorkeling on their honeymoon
in scenic Kauai, Hawaii. Relaxation was in order after their busy
Scottish wedding. They’d met at NASA Ames Research Center in Mountain
View, where both are managers.
“Right after we were engaged,”
Neill says, “I mentioned to Hilary that I had always wanted to be
married wearing the family tartan (kilt).” A day later, he learned that
her great-grandfather was Scottish, so a Scottish wedding it was!
Decorating
the First United Methodist Church in Turlock were two large banners
bearing the bride and groom’s tartans and crests. Clad in kilts were the
groom, the bride’s brother, the ring bearer and the bagpiper. Emotions
were high and tears flowed as the musician played “The Bells of
Dunblane,” as he led the bride down the aisle. After a traditional
ceremony, the bagpiper escorted the couple and congregation in a street
processional to the reception. “People were driving by, saying, ‘What is
going on here?’” Hilary recalls. Following the reception, guests held
lit sparklers as the couple ran through the crowd to begin their new
life together.
***
Speaking of bagpipers, three – plus a
drummer – led a different groom’s family to the Sikh Temple grounds in
Livingston as the bride’s family awaited their arrival. Dressed in
traditional 17th- and 18th-century royal wedding attire, groom Gurdeep
Billan and bride Raya Pahal, both of Indian descent, resembled a Sikh
prince and princess.
In the first ceremony, the immediate family
and relatives were formally introduced, after which the bride’s family
hosted a breakfast for the groom’s family and guests. Afterward, both
families entered the temple for the “Anand Karaj” Sikh marriage
ceremony, which “represents the union between two souls into one
spirit,” Gurdeep says.
Recitations and a prayer were offered,
invoking God’s blessings for the marriage and asking God’s grace in the
couple’s union. At one point, each end of a scarf was given to the groom
and bride to symbolize the first steps toward the unification of two
souls. Lunch followed songs, other recitations, gifts and
congratulations. Later, the bride’s family bid farewell to their
daughter as she left her parent’s house to spend the rest of her life
with the groom and his family. Afterward, 1,000 guests attended the
reception, which was held at the Fresno Fairgrounds.
***
Two
weddings and a reception meant a busy day for David Sandoval and
Kolthida (“Thida”) Khiek. Ceremony number one was traditional Cambodian,
attended only by close family members. While the bride waited upstairs,
the groom arrived and entered the bride’s home, offering gifts (cash,
jewelry and food) to her family as a dowry.
Representatives of
both families inspected the dowry and, finding it acceptable, the
bride’s parents consented to the marriage. Clutching a lotus
flower-adorned container carrying her “soul” the bride was invited to
join the groom downstairs, where he held a similar container. An
acceptance song was played, rings were exchanged and ancestors were
asked for their blessing.
Next was a symbolic haircut, where the
bride and groom are wished peace, health, happiness, longevity and
prosperity. A blessing by the master of ceremonies, music and a
blessing/chant by Buddhist monks followed. Later, relatives and friends
tied holy red threads on the couple’s wrists, offered blessings and
showered them with palm flower seeds.
More guests arrived, and a
short time later the American wedding with about 150 guests took place,
followed by a festive reception for 300 at the China Palace restaurant
in Stockton. The couple honeymooned at “chilly but beautiful” Yosemite
National Park.
***
Since he is Caucasian and Jewish and
she is Hispanic and Catholic, Mitch and Nina Cohen chose a
Jewish-Hispanic wedding. The bilingual (English/Spanish) the civil
ceremony and reception were held at The Sterling Hotel in Sacramento.
“Most Hispanic weddings are performed in a church and most Jewish
weddings are performed in temple,” Mitch says. “Ours was in a hotel!”
After
the two were pronounced husband and wife, a satin pouch containing a
wine glass was placed on the floor for the groom to stomp on (known as
“breaking the glass”). For Mitch and Nina, it signified these messages:
“A broken glass cannot be mended. Likewise, marriage is a transforming
experience that leaves individuals forever changed ... The glass is
broken to protect the marriage with the implicit wish that, ‘as this
glass shatters, so may our marriage never break.’” Afterward, the crowd
shouted “Mazel Tov!” which means good luck.
During the reception,
as the bride and groom sat in chairs on the dance floor, the male
guests lifted the couple’s chairs and bounced them in the air in
celebration, while the women danced around the pair in a circle. “The
cultural event from Nina’s side was the unity candle,” Mitch says. “This
is not done in the Jewish religion.” Also at the reception, the bride
and her father danced to the song, “Butterfly Kisses” sung in Spanish.
***
What
would it be like to be married by seven priests? How would it feel to
have a wedding with three sacramental sponsors (“koumbari” in Greek),
seven bridesmaids, 10 groomsmen, two flower girls and two crown bearers?
George and Melissa Tsongranis enjoyed just such a ceremony. Held at the
Greek Orthodox Church of the Annunciation in Modesto, the wedding was a
“traditional Greek Orthodox service – which is a sacrament of the
church,” Melissa says.
George and Melissa met at a religious
education conference in Boston. They share Greek ancestry and active
participation in the Orthodox Christian faith. The decision to have a
Greek Orthodox wedding went without saying. The service was detailed.
During The Betrothal, priests chanted the litany, prayers were read, two
gold rings were blessed, specific words were spoken, the rings were
interchanged three times, representing the two lives being entwined into
one by the grace of the Holy Trinity, and the rings were placed on
right hands.
The Rite of Crowning (the actual wedding), included
prayers, the Crowning (symbolizing the couple becoming king and queen of
their household), scripture readings, the Lord’s Prayer and the Common
Cup (shared red wine), followed by the Procession of Isaiah
(representing their steps together as husband and wife) and the
Benediction (final prayer). At the reception, traditional white Jordan
almonds (“koufeta” in Greek) were distributed to guests, symbolizing the
sweetness and purity of life they hope to experience as husband and
wife.
***
Congratulations and thanks to the couples with whom we spoke. May you enjoy lives of health, happiness, peace and longevity.
© HHWS for The Modesto Bee
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